Jessie Li, LMFT
Couples Therapist & Supervisor
I help individuals and couples get “unstuck” from their relationship patterns while deepening their connection for a more fulfilling life. If you choose to work with me, I want to help you achieve these relationships and feelings in your life.
Language: English, Mandarin & Cantonese
Sliding Scale: Not at this time
Insurance: Can provide a superbill for PPO plans
Accepting New Clients: No, waitlist available
- BIPOC & Asian American Experience
- Biracial & Mixed-Race Identities
- Couples Therapist
Therapy for Couples
You have got it! You have found love: You love your partner. Your partner loves you. That is an excellent foundation for starting and maintaining a relationship. However, a meaningful, long-lasting partnership needs much more than love. As you have probably learned, you and your partner both have other needs. There are other sentiments, support, and feelings just as essential to a successful partnership as the words “I love you”.
“I listen to you”. Even when I have so much to say myself and I don’t understand what you are saying, thinking, or feeling.
“I acknowledge you”. Even when I don’t agree with your way of thinking or perspective or don’t understand your feelings.
“I support you”. No matter what you might be going through.
“I am open to you”. Open to accepting your help and providing you with help and support when you need it.
These are just some statements necessary to a successful, healthy partnership. Couples therapy is a journey with your partner and a trusted therapist that can provide many benefits to your relationship. Therapy can provide a neutral, safe space for both you and your partner to feel comfortable, with specialized treatment specific to your relationship and needs. There are no distractions; therapy is simply a time for both you and your partner to dedicate to being present and working to achieve your relationship goals.
Couples therapy is a space to work on active listening, openly expressing feelings and emotions, effective communication, and more. These goals are achievable by learning tools and coping mechanisms to manage emotions triggered by your partner and difficult life situations. Learning how best to support and love your partner in dark moments of life and your relationship will be a cornerstone to building a stronger bond.
As a couples therapy practitioner, I have training and experience using the acclaimed Gottman Method. Using this method, I will conduct interviews and questionnaires with each individual and give feedback in a series of interventions. These assessments are designed to improve three target areas of your relationship friendship, conflict management, and creating shared meaning. Every relationship is different, but the Gottman Method principles can be a framework in which we work through your issues. We will use The Sound Relationship House Theory to break patterns of conflicting communication, increase intimacy, respect, and affection, remove feelings of stagnancy during conflicts, and build an understanding and sense of empathy in your relationship.
The Gottman Method recognizes two types of conflict in a relationship, resolvable or perpetual conflict. Nearly 70% of all relationship conflict is perpetual conflict. Learning to understand your partner and your conflict patterns will help you achieve a stronger bond and healthier coping tools for issues that arise throughout your relationship.
Therapy for Bicultural/Multicultural Couples
Every relationship is multilayered and challenging at any point in time. Each individual enters a relationship with their own set of values, morals, beliefs, economic status, and more. Many of these are shaped by our past experiences and upbringing. If you enter into a relationship with a partner from a different culture than yours can be an incredible learning opportunity and lead to a wonderfully diverse and varied life.
However, being a part of a bicultural or multicultural couple can also add an extra layer of complication due to significantly different life experiences and cultures in which each person was raised. You might struggle to communicate because of a language barrier, marrying different cultural traditions and values, understanding familial expectations, or the myriad of other issues magnified in bicultural relationships.
There are many tools that can be learned to help ease the extra strain that a multicultural relationship faces. Learning to effectively communicate with your partner according to their language, perceptions, capabilities, and values can be a game-changer for your relationship. It is crucial to develop the ability to identify when you are experiencing language barriers and confusion rather than having a conflict. Each person must be able to identify their own biases and set them aside to understand someone who comes from a completely different culture than you, even if you were not aware that those biases existed in the first place. These issues and more can be made easier by working with a trusted therapist. I can provide a neutral space and an outsider’s perspective to understand your relationship and help your partnership grow.
Therapy for Asian Americans/Immigrant Experience
You or your family left the familiar, known world behind — took a risk in the hope of a better chance in life. Took this risk not only for themselves/ yourself but for future generations. However, there are many challenges in making the United States home.
Different language(s). Different cultures, values, traditions, and more. Constantly trying to learn, adapt, assimilate… but also trying to keep your family’s traditions, values, and culture.
My goal is to provide support for you, regardless of what kind of immigration experience you have had. No matter what generation you are, 1st, 1.5, 2nd, 3rd, immigrants have mutual experiences and face similar challenges. However, even though your experiences may be similar to other immigrants, your journey is unique based on your circumstances, personality, and life experiences.
These challenges can be made easier by working with a therapist that understands your immigration narrative. Together we can work to understand your new home and how to adapt your life to a new culture. We will also develop and maintain a strong connection to yourself and your home country, ultimately striving to strike a healthy, balanced life.
Therapy with Me
I have a passion for people. Since the age of thirteen, I told everyone who would listen that I wanted to be a person that “heals the heart”. At the time, I did not know what a therapist was, only that I wanted to help others achieve a sense of peace.
Therapist hat on or therapist hat off, I most enjoy building human connections. Who I am eating with is what makes my meal more delicious. Whose company I am enjoying when I travel is what makes the scenery outstanding and breathtaking. Meaningful conversations nourish my soul. Fun group activities fill my heart with joy. These special moments we share with others don’t happen every minute in life, and because of their rarity, their value increases.
If you choose to work with me, I want to help you achieve these relationships and feelings in your life. As a therapist, I focus on building healthy and meaningful connections on many levels. In individual therapy, the focus can be on building a meaningful relationship with yourself first and foremost. After establishing a healthy self-dialogue and dynamic, we can move on to building healthy, meaningful connections with others.
Building meaningful connections is challenging and risky. It requires vulnerability, and you face a long list of challenges, including family dynamics and history, personality, stress, mental health, trauma, work, and more. However, I believe there is no greater reward in life than to be deeply aligned in yourself through extensive personal exploration and subsequently open ourselves to healthy connections with others in our lives.
Once you learn the necessary knowledge about yourself and other important figures in your life, we can begin to work together to develop tools and skills to manage the ups and downs throughout life. The list of challenges becomes less intimidating. Your confidence will rise as you learn to take your time to face these challenges, work through them, and ultimately resolve them to strengthen your connections to your loved ones. I can help you achieve these goals and develop the tools for a happier, healthier life.
Registered California Board of Behavioral Sciences Number: LMFT 102623