In Asian American communities, achievement is often more than personal. It can feel familial, cultural, or even political. Excellence is celebrated, sacrifice is normalized, and pressure is expected.
That’s why watching Asian American Olympians like Alysa Liu and Eileen Gu feels especially powerful. Beyond their medals and records, they offer something deeper – alternative narratives about self-worth, pressure, joy, and identity.
Many Asian Americans struggle with perfectionism, burnout, and the belief that love and belonging must be earned. However, Liu and Gu model a different way to relate to achievement that centers internal well-being alongside excellence.
Here are a few mental health and self-care lessons we can take from them.
You Are More Than Your Achievements
At just 14, Alysa Liu became the first American woman to land a quadruple jump in competition and won two U.S. national titles. She was widely expected to be the future of American figure skating.
And then, at 16, she retired. After competing at the 2022 Winter Olympics, Liu announced she was stepping away from the sport. She shared that she had accomplished her goals and wanted to live a fuller life outside of skating.
In a culture that often equates quitting with failure, her decision was radical.
What makes Liu’s story even more remarkable is that she later chose to return to skating two years later due to a renewed love for it, and won a gold medal. She came back stronger than ever.
For many Asian Americans, stopping, even when exhausted, can feel shameful. We are often taught to push through, endure, and achieve at all costs. Liu’s retirement challenges the idea that our value lies in constant upward trajectory. It reminds us that autonomy, joy, and mental health are also worthy endpoints.
Sometimes self-care is choosing not to continue on a path that no longer feels aligned, or choosing to bravely return to something we feel called to.
Reframing “Loss”: Two Silvers Gained or Two Golds Lost?
Eileen Gu is the most decorated freestyle skier as of the 2026 Winter Olympics, but she recently went viral for something else. During a press conference after Gu won a silver medal, a reporter asked whether she saw it as “two silver medals gained or two golds lost.”
Her response has since been widely shared:
I’m the most decorated female freeskier in history. I think that’s an answer in and of itself. How do I say this? Winning a medal at the Olympics is a life-changing experience for every athlete. Doing it five times is exponentially harder.
That reframing is psychologically powerful.
As humans, our brains tend to be biased towards the negative. Many of us struggle with cognitive distortions that focus on what wasn’t achieved:
- “I only got into one top school.”
- “I got a 95, not a 100.”
- “I’m almost there, but not enough.”
When we focus on “golds lost,” we train our minds to fixate on what wasn’t enough. Even big accomplishments can start to feel small or like the bare minimum. Instead of feeling proud, we feel behind. Instead of celebrating progress, we move the bar higher.
Over time, this mindset can leave us feeling like nothing we do is ever quite good enough.
Gu’s response offers a different way of thinking. By saying she sees “silvers gained,” she shifts the focus to what she accomplished, not what she missed. She still cares about winning and excelling at her craft, but she doesn’t let one outcome define her worth.
For many Asian Americans raised with high expectations, this shift can be powerful. Learning to say “I gained” instead of “I lost” doesn’t lower the bar. Rather, it allows us to appreciate how far we’ve come, and that small change in perspective can make a big difference in how we treat ourselves.
Redefining Success on Our Own Terms
For many Asian Americans, mental health work often involves unpacking inherited definitions of success:
- Is success external validation, or internal alignment?
- Is it being the best, or being well?
- Is it constant achievement, or sustainable growth?
Alysa Liu reminds us that we can step away when we’ve had enough, and that we are always allowed to change our minds. Not all decisions have to be final.
Eileen Gu reminds us that we can celebrate what we gained, not just what we didn’t win.
Neither message rejects excellence. Instead, they expand it.
True success includes mental health.
A Gentle Reflection
As you reflect on your own life, consider:
- Where are you measuring yourself by “golds lost” instead of “silvers gained”?
- What would it look like to define success beyond productivity?
- Are you pursuing something because you want it, or because you fear who you’ll be without it?
Seek An Individual Therapist at Yellow Chair Collective in Los Angeles or New York
If you are seeking therapy specifically tailored to your needs, consider reaching out to the therapists at Yellow Chair Collective. We understand that there may be unique contextual factors that may influence your experiences.
At our Los Angeles, CA, and New York City, NY-based therapy practice, we have many skilled, trauma-informed, and culturally sensitive therapists who can provide an empowering therapeutic experience. For your added convenience and simplicity, we offer online therapy for anyone in the state of California or New York. We know that navigating your mental health journey can be challenging, and we want to support you along the way. Follow the steps below to begin.
- Fill out the contact form to get connected with us.
- Get matched with one of our culturally sensitive therapists.
- Start the next step in your healing journey today.
Other Services at Yellow Chair Collective
There are many options for treatment using online therapy in California and New York, it just depends on what you’re needing. And while we certainly service Asian American folks, we also work with individuals from other cultures, too. So, whether you’re needing support in overcoming anxiety, burnout, trauma, or PTSD, we can help. Likewise, we serve teens and couples in need of support, too. So when you start online therapy with us, you can bring your whole self, including past struggles, cultural impacts, and more.
