Many difficulties encountered in adulthood are not the result of insufficient effort, insight, or self-discipline. Rather, they emerge from behavioral and emotional patterns established early in life that were once adaptive but were never revised. These patterns persist because the nervous system does not update automatically with age, context, or
In 1966, sociologist William Petersen introduced the term model minority to describe Japanese Americans who, despite historical discrimination and internment during World War II, demonstrated notable socioeconomic achievement. Although the term appeared complimentary, it functioned primarily as a political narrative. It implied that success was attainable through discipline, conformity, and
The new year always brings a sense of possibility. A pause. A quiet hope that this year might feel different. But hope on its own isn’t a plan—and motivation, while powerful, is a terrible long-term leader.If you’ve ever felt inspired in January and exhausted by March, there’s nothing wrong with
“What’s the difference?” is a common question when people begin exploring group based mental health support. Support groups and psychotherapy groups are often listed side by side, described in similar language, and sometimes even offered by the same practice. At a glance, they can appear interchangeable, a group of people
In her essential book on writing and life, Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott introduces a concept that many consider vital for recovering from perfectionism: “shitty first drafts.” Lamott explains that nearly all good writing begins as something deeply imperfect. You have to start somewhere. You have to get it down
For many children of immigrants, growing up involved an unspoken contract: our parents sacrificed everything—their homeland, their comfort, their language—so that we could succeed. Our role in this contract is to be grateful, hardworking, and, above all, okay. To struggle with mental health, to experience depression or paralyzing anxiety, feels
The start of a new year often comes with expectations to improve, achieve, or correct something about ourselves. For many Asian Americans, these expectations can feel especially heavy. Cultural messages about discipline, success, family obligation, and perseverance may make New Year’s resolutions feel less like inspiration and more like pressure.
Saying no without guilt, and yes to your own life There’s something sacred about beginning together with a moment of stillness.Before we talk about burnout or boundaries or becoming, let’s slow down enough to notice ourselves. Feel your feet against the ground.Feel the weight of your breath — the rise,
Somewhere along the way, you became more than a sibling. You became a stand-in parent. You learned to tie shoes and braid hair before you learned what it meant to rest. You fed, bathed, soothed, corrected — all while still trying to grow up yourself. You weren’t given the chance
There’s a kind of love that asks you to stay small.To be the good one. The strong one. The quiet one who never makes trouble. For many eldest daughters in collectivist families, this love is sacred — it’s the heartbeat of belonging. It’s also the birthplace of exhaustion.In collectivist cultures,
