From the outside, everything looks fine.
You’re showing up to work, you’re keeping your relationships intact, and checking off milestones. Maybe you’re even excelling!
But inside? There’s a quiet, heavy ache. A numbness. A thought that creeps in when you’re driving home or lying awake at night:
“What’s the point?”
Or, more hauntingly:
“What if I just didn’t wake up tomorrow?”
It doesn’t “make sense.” You have so much going for you. So why does life feel so unbearably hard sometimes?
If you relate to this, you’re not alone, and there’s nothing wrong with you. Many high-achieving Asian American adults carry deep emotional pain that’s hard to name, let alone speak out loud. Especially when they feel they have no “reason” to be struggling.
The Myth That Success = Safety
One of the most persistent misunderstandings about suicide is that it only affects people who are visibly struggling. But suicidal thoughts don’t always come from a single traumatic event or a life that looks obviously “bad.” Sometimes, they come from years of burnout, emotional neglect, unspoken grief, or the chronic feeling of being unseen.
In the Asian American community, this can be further exacerbated by the model minority myth, which creates pressure to seem ‘high-functioning,’ hardworking, and emotionally composed, even when things feel like they’re falling apart inside..
You might feel like you don’t have “permission” to struggle because you’re doing okay on paper. You might feel like expressing pain is selfish, dramatic, or weak, especially when your parents or elders went through “so much worse.”
But the truth is, you don’t need to earn the right to feel pain.
Why It’s So Hard to Say “I’m Not Okay”
Many of our clients carry an unspoken belief:
“If I tell someone how I really feel, they’ll worry. They’ll pity me. Or they won’t know what to do.”
And in collectivist cultures, where values like harmony and family obligation are core, it can feel nearly impossible to say something that might disrupt the peace.
- You don’t want to be a burden.
- You don’t want to make it “about you.”
- You don’t want to bring shame to your family.
- You don’t want to seem ungrateful.
So instead, you put your head down and keep it pushing…
Until one day, the weight gets too heavy, and you wonder if disappearing would just be easier.
You Don’t Have to Tough It Out
You’ve likely spent years learning how to tough things out without asking for help, without resting, without being “too much.”
But healing doesn’t come from more grit. Rather, it comes from softness, from feeling, and from
allowing yourself to be seen.
You don’t have to wait until you’re in crisis to ask for support.
You don’t have to wait until you’ve “figured it out” to speak.
You don’t have to be falling apart to deserve care.
If You’re in Crisis
If you’re currently struggling with suicidal thoughts, know that help is available 24/7.
📞 Call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
You deserve support.
Seek An Individual Therapist at Yellow Chair Collective in Los Angeles or New York
If you are seeking therapy specifically tailored to your needs, consider reaching out to the therapists at Yellow Chair Collective. We understand that there may be unique contextual factors that may influence your experiences.
At our Los Angeles, CA, and New York City, NY-based therapy practice, we have many skilled, trauma-informed, and culturally sensitive therapists who can provide an empowering therapeutic experience. For your added convenience and simplicity, we offer online therapy for anyone in the state of California, Oregon, Washington, or New York. We know that navigating your mental health journey can be challenging, and we want to support you along the way. Follow the steps below to begin.
- Fill out the contact form to get connected with us.
- Get matched with one of our culturally sensitive therapists.
- Start the next step in your healing journey today.
Other Services at Yellow Chair Collective
There are many options for treatment using online therapy in California , Oregon, Washington, and New York, it just depends on what you’re needing. And while we certainly service Asian American folks, we also work with individuals from other cultures, too. So, whether you’re needing support in overcoming anxiety, burnout, trauma, or PTSD, we can help. Likewise, we serve teens and couples in need of support, too. So when you start online therapy with us, you can bring your whole self, including past struggles, cultural impacts, and more.
