Emotionally immature parents have become somewhat of a hot topic in the mental health space as Lindsay Gibson published her book. As we are discussing the impact of their upbringing with emotionally immature parents, at some point many clients pause and wonder: “Am I emotionally immature?”
Maybe you’ve been told you overreact, avoid conflict, or shut down when things get hard. You might find yourself feeling stuck, wanting to connect but not quite knowing how to express what’s happening internally.The term “emotional immaturity” can sound judgmental, but it’s really about awareness and growth. If you struggle with emotional immaturity, you are not “broken” or “bad.” It simply means there are areas of your emotional life that could use more understanding and growth.
What Emotional Immaturity Really Means
Emotional immaturity refers to difficulty managing emotions, understanding others’ perspectives, or responding to life’s challenges in a balanced and responsible way. People who struggle with emotional immaturity may react impulsively, avoid accountability, or have trouble regulating strong feelings such as anger, shame, or disappointment.
This can look like:
- Having strong emotional reactions to proportionately small stressors
You’ve been told you tend to talk about yourself too much, or you find it hard to stay curious and engaged in conversation about others’ experiences - Getting defensive when someone expresses disappointment or disagreement
- Struggling to take responsibility after hurting someone
- Tendency to act or speak on impulse
- Tendency to shut down or react with heightened emotion or volume in conflict
- Having difficulty accepting that others may think or feel differently from you
- Relying on others for frequent validation or attention, sometimes in moments when it may not be the right time or place.
It’s important to remember that everyone can show moments of emotional immaturity, as we are all human. Losing patience, avoiding a hard conversation, or reacting impulsively doesn’t automatically mean you are emotionally immature. What really matters is the pattern. When these behaviors become consistent and start to impact your relationships, wellbeing, or ability to handle life’s challenges, it may be a sign to pause for self-reflection and consider making some changes.
Challenge Yourself to Grow
Emotional maturity isn’t about never getting triggered or upset. It’s about learning to pause, reflect, and respond with awareness. If you’re ready to strengthen your emotional growth, here are some steps with which to challenge yourself:
- Pause before reacting. When emotions run high, take a breath and give yourself space to reflect before responding.
- Name what you’re feeling. Simply identifying emotions (“I feel hurt,” “I feel anxious”) can reduce reactivity and increase awareness.
- Take responsibility for your part. Instead of blaming others, put more focus on what you can learn or do differently next time, making sure to remind yourself that you can still be a good person even if you make mistakes.
- Set healthy boundaries. Respect your own limits and others’—it builds mutual trust and emotional safety.
- Be curious. When you receive feedback, ask questions and reflect before shutting down or explaining it away.
- Repair after conflict. Owning up to mistakes, apologizing sincerely, and making amends builds emotional strength and connection.
- Work on self-soothing. Learn ways to comfort yourself (ex: journaling, exercise, deep breathing, hobbies, etc.)
- Seek therapy or support. Emotional maturity develops through awareness, practice, and often guidance from a trusted therapist or support system.
Each of these practices invites you to step more fully into self-awareness and healing. As you do, you’re not only nurturing your own growth, but you’re also helping to break long-standing emotional patterns that may have been passed down through generations.
A Gentle Reminder
If you’re asking yourself, “Am I emotionally immature?”, it’s likely you’re already growing. Emotional maturity begins with curiosity, not judgment. You don’t have to “fix” yourself—you’re simply learning new ways to feel, connect, and express.
Seek An Individual Therapist at Yellow Chair Collective in Los Angeles or New York
If you are seeking therapy specifically tailored to your needs, consider reaching out to the therapists at Yellow Chair Collective. We understand that there may be unique contextual factors that may influence your experiences.
At our Los Angeles, CA, and New York City, NY-based therapy practice, we have many skilled, trauma-informed, and culturally sensitive therapists who can provide an empowering therapeutic experience. For your added convenience and simplicity, we offer online therapy for anyone in the state of California or New York. We know that navigating your mental health journey can be challenging, and we want to support you along the way. Follow the steps below to begin.
- Fill out the contact form to get connected with us.
- Get matched with one of our culturally sensitive therapists.
- Start the next step in your healing journey today.
Other Services at Yellow Chair Collective
There are many options for treatment using online therapy in California and New York, it just depends on what you’re needing. And while we certainly service Asian American folks, we also work with individuals from other cultures, too. So, whether you’re needing support in overcoming anxiety, burnout, trauma, or PTSD, we can help. Likewise, we serve teens and couples in need of support, too. So when you start online therapy with us, you can bring your whole self, including past struggles, cultural impacts, and more.
