The start of a new year often comes with expectations to improve, achieve, or correct something about ourselves. For many Asian Americans, these expectations can feel especially heavy. Cultural messages about discipline, success, family obligation, and perseverance may make New Year’s resolutions feel less like
Saying no without guilt, and yes to your own life There’s something sacred about beginning together with a moment of stillness.Before we talk about burnout or boundaries or becoming, let’s slow down enough to notice ourselves. Feel your feet against the ground.Feel the weight of
Somewhere along the way, you became more than a sibling. You became a stand-in parent. You learned to tie shoes and braid hair before you learned what it meant to rest. You fed, bathed, soothed, corrected — all while still trying to grow up yourself.
There’s a kind of love that asks you to stay small.To be the good one. The strong one. The quiet one who never makes trouble. For many eldest daughters in collectivist families, this love is sacred — it’s the heartbeat of belonging. It’s also the
There’s a certain kind of person who carries the world quietly on her shoulders.She learned early that love was earned through usefulness.That her worth was measured by how much she could hold without breaking.And that to need less was to be loved more. Many eldest
Understanding Why You Were Given (or Took On) So Much For so many eldest daughters of immigrant families, responsibility didn’t arrive with a ceremony. It wasn’t given like a gift; it crept in quietly, folded into the corners of everyday life. You learned to bridge
Defining the Eldest Daughter Experience When we talk about the eldest daughter, we usually mean the first-born girl. But often, the realities are more complex. The mantle of “eldest-ness” may shift (or be placed on someone) not always by birth, but by burden, by culture,
Let’s talk about something uncomfortable: the fetishization of Asian women. On the surface, it can look like a compliment – being called “exotic,” being told we’re “more attractive” than other women, being the “preference.” But if you scratch beneath that surface, you find a history
From the outside, everything looks fine. You’re showing up to work, you’re keeping your relationships intact, and checking off milestones. Maybe you’re even excelling! But inside? There’s a quiet, heavy ache. A numbness. A thought that creeps in when you’re driving home or lying awake
Aging is a natural part of life, but when it begins to affect our parents, it can feel particularly disorienting and overwhelming. For many adult children, especially within Asian communities, navigating a parent’s aging process can bring up deep emotional responses, cultural expectations, and sometimes,
