Let’s talk about something uncomfortable: the fetishization of Asian women.
On the surface, it can look like a compliment – being called “exotic,” being told we’re “more attractive” than other women, being the “preference.” But if you scratch beneath that surface, you find a history that’s anything but flattering.
It’s a history rooted in colonialism, war, and power. And it’s one that turns real women into fantasies.
The fetishization of Asian women is a dangerous and dehumanizing social phenomenon, not merely a matter of personal preference. It stems from historical, media, and colonial influences, reducing Asian women to harmful stereotypes such as being submissive, hypersexual, or eternally youthful. This erasure of individuality often leads to harassment, violence, and internalized harm.In her book Fetishized, Kaila Yu reflects on how she came to understand the harm behind the attention she once thought was empowering:
“Asian fetish tropes reduce Asian women to flimsy caricatures… Although the Asian fetish is degrading, feeling desirable when you’re vacant of self-worth is acutely compelling. Asiaphiles frequently gaslight Asian women into considering themselves lucky, rationalizing that fetishization is a compliment.”
Inspired by Kaila Yu’s biographical experience as a musician and writer, this article explores where Asian fetish came from, how they’ve been reinforced by history and media, and why we must differentiate between genuine attraction and a racialized fetish.Inspired by Kaila Yu’s personal journey as a musician and writer, this article delves into the origins of Asian fetish. It examines how this fetish has been perpetuated through history and media, and emphasizes the crucial need to distinguish between authentic attraction and a racialized fetish.
The Historical Roots: War, Colonialism, and Power
The fetishization of Asian women cannot be separated from Western imperialism. From the U.S. occupation of Japan after WWII to the Vietnam War, Asian women were often depicted as submissive “war brides” or sexual outlets for soldiers.
Yu notes that thousands of Japanese women emigrated to the U.S. under the 1945 War Brides Act, which was framed as a romantic cultural exchange but was rooted in a deeply unequal power dynamic:
“It was by far the largest female-only immigration circumstance in U.S. history… We often forget that it’s an ideology rooted in misogyny, anti-feminism, and colonialism.”
Even today, sex tourism in Asia remains popular among Western men – a remnant of this colonial legacy reinforcing the “exotic and available” trope.
Pop Culture’s Role in Reinforcing the Fetish
Books like Memoirs of a Geisha and films like The Joy Luck Club have often painted Asian women as tragic, submissive, or mysterious. While sometimes celebrated as cultural representation, they risk framing Asian women’s stories through a Western gaze.Yu points out how Memoirs of a Geisha misrepresents geisha culture:
“The book is little more than a bit of highly entertaining Orientalist fluff, an exotic fantasy romanticizing female subjugation… While geisha are rare, some Westerners believe that Japan is filled with geisha selling sex.”
Similarly, mainstream porn has amplified hypersexual stereotypes. As Yu writes, “Asian women are the model minority – even in porn. We are lithe, tight, and ready to go with a smile”.
This repeated framing teaches viewers to see Asian women not as individuals but as a category designed to fulfill a fantasy.
Preference vs. Fetish: How to Tell the Difference
It’s crucial to differentiate between genuine attraction and a fetish.
A preference is about being drawn to someone for who they are (personality, shared values, mutual respect) while acknowledging that physical features may play a role. A fetish, on the other hand, reduces someone to their race or body parts, ignoring their individuality. As Yu writes, objectification is:
“The act of stripping away one’s identity, reducing one’s body and sexuality to parts and tools to be used.”
A genuine relationship sees the whole person; a fetish sees only the fantasy.
Why Fetishization Is Harmful
Fetishization may feel flattering at first, but it’s rooted in power imbalance. It denies Asian women complexity and humanity, which can lead to violence. Yu shares how some fetishists treated her as less than human:
“Like the spa shooter gunning down his victims because of his rage over his own fetish, to some men with yellow fever we’re not human.”
These stereotypes not only harm women externally through harassment but also internally, creating pressure to perform a certain kind of sexuality and eroding self-worth.
Moving Forward
Dismantling the fetishization of Asian women starts with education — questioning media portrayals, examining personal biases, and centering Asian voices in storytelling. As Yu notes, even Asian women sometimes internalize these messages and must work to unlearn them.
“Sometimes we lean into fetishization, not realizing its inherent foundational spiritual and emotional damage.”
If you want to dive deeper into this topic, watch the YouTube video “Fetishization of Asian Women” for an excellent breakdown of how these narratives persist and why they are so harmful.
Seek An Individual Therapist at Yellow Chair Collective in Los Angeles or New York
If you are seeking therapy specifically tailored to your needs, consider reaching out to the therapists at Yellow Chair Collective. We understand that there may be unique contextual factors that may influence your experiences.
At our Los Angeles, CA, and New York City, NY-based therapy practice, we have many skilled, trauma-informed, and culturally sensitive therapists who can provide an empowering therapeutic experience. For your added convenience and simplicity, we offer online therapy for anyone in the state of California, Oregon, Washington, or New York. We know that navigating your mental health journey can be challenging, and we want to support you along the way. Follow the steps below to begin.
- Fill out the contact form to get connected with us.
- Get matched with one of our culturally sensitive therapists.
- Start the next step in your healing journey today.
Other Services at Yellow Chair Collective
There are many options for treatment using online therapy in California , Oregon, Washington, and New York, it just depends on what you’re needing. And while we certainly service Asian American folks, we also work with individuals from other cultures, too. So, whether you’re needing support in overcoming anxiety, burnout, trauma, or PTSD, we can help. Likewise, we serve teens and couples in need of support, too. So when you start online therapy with us, you can bring your whole self, including past struggles, cultural impacts, and more.
