Aging is a natural part of life, but when it begins to affect our parents, it can feel particularly disorienting and overwhelming. For many adult children, especially within Asian communities, navigating a parent’s aging process can bring up deep emotional responses, cultural expectations, and sometimes, grief long before any physical loss.
Cultural Values and Norms
In many Asian families, the aging process is shaped by deep-rooted cultural values. The concept of filial piety emphasizes honoring and caring for one’s elders. While this value can be a powerful source of connection and responsibility, it can also create immense pressure and burden. Adult children may feel obligated to take on the full weight of caregiving, regardless of their personal capacity or life circumstances.
Cultural norms can also complicate important conversations around aging. Topics like hospice care, assisted living, or end-of-life planning may be considered taboo. Elders may resist receiving help due to pride or a desire not to burden their children. Meanwhile, adult children may find themselves caught between honoring their parents’ wishes and advocating for what is needed to keep them safe and supported. These dynamics can lead to silence, misunderstandings, and emotional distance at a time when connection is most needed.
Caregiving
Caregiving itself is another layer of complexity. Whether it’s managing medical appointments, assisting with daily routines, or navigating long-term care, caregiving often becomes a full-time responsibility. It can be physically draining, emotionally isolating, and financially straining. The emotional toll can be immense, especially when caregiving intersects with work, raising children, or managing one’s own health.
Grief
And then, there’s the grief. Not just the grief that comes with loss, but the anticipatory grief of watching a parent change—mentally, physically, or emotionally. Sometimes, old family wounds resurface. Other times, there’s guilt: for not doing enough, for living far away, or simply for struggling in a role that’s supposed to come naturally.
So how do we begin to navigate this complex terrain?
Start by acknowledging the full spectrum of your emotions. Grief, resentment, love, confusion—they can all coexist. Seek out community spaces, therapy, or support groups that are culturally responsive and can hold the complexity of your experience. Communicate with your family, even if the conversations are imperfect or met with resistance. Ask for help. Share stories. Make room for both tradition and flexibility.
Navigating a parent’s aging journey isn’t about meeting every expectation. It’s about walking the path with care—for your parents, and for yourself. In a culture that often emphasizes duty, let’s also make space for compassion, honesty, and grace. If you’re looking for a space to process these experiences with others who understand, Yellow Chair Collective offers a Navigating Parental Aging: Support Group for Asian Adult Children. This group provides a safe, culturally attuned space to explore caregiving, grief, family dynamics, and how to care for yourself through it all. You’re not alone—and you don’t have to do this alone.
Seek An Individual Therapist at Yellow Chair Collective in Los Angeles or New York
If you are seeking therapy specifically tailored to your needs, consider reaching out to the therapists at Yellow Chair Collective. We understand that there may be unique contextual factors that may influence your experiences.
At our Los Angeles, CA, and New York City, NY-based therapy practice, we have many skilled, trauma-informed, and culturally sensitive therapists who can provide an empowering therapeutic experience. For your added convenience and simplicity, we offer online therapy for anyone in the state of California or New York. We know that navigating your mental health journey can be challenging, and we want to support you along the way. Follow the steps below to begin.
- Fill out the contact form to get connected with us.
- Get matched with one of our culturally sensitive therapists.
- Start the next step in your healing journey today.
Other Services at Yellow Chair Collective
There are many options for treatment using online therapy in California and New York, it just depends on what you’re needing. And while we certainly service Asian American folks, we also work with individuals from other cultures, too. So, whether you’re needing support in overcoming anxiety, burnout, trauma, or PTSD, we can help. Likewise, we serve teens and couples in need of support, too. So when you start online therapy with us, you can bring your whole self, including past struggles, cultural impacts, and more.
