There are seasons in life when survival becomes the only goal.
Not flourishing.
Not growth.
Just making it through the day without losing yourself entirely.
For many, recovering from narcissistic abuse is one of those seasons.
It’s not dramatic the way a movie would portray it.
It’s quiet.
Invisible, even.
Like trying to breathe with a weight on your chest that no one else can see.
The Slow Return to Self
When you spend long enough in a relationship—romantic, familial, professional—where your reality is constantly doubted, rewritten, or minimized, something subtle but profound happens:
You begin to distrust your own soul.
You second-guess the things you once knew instinctively.
You apologize for taking up space.
You shrink to fit the expectations of someone who was never satisfied anyway.
And when it finally ends, everyone around you says things like,
“Just move on,”
or “You’re free now,”
or “You should be happy.”
But healing doesn’t happen on demand.
Liberation doesn’t erase the ache.
Freedom doesn’t equal wholeness.
Recovery begins with something much smaller. Much quieter.
It begins with telling the truth.
Truth as a First Step Toward Healing
Naming what happened is not an act of bitterness. It’s an act of resurrection.
Because the parts of you that were dismissed, gaslit, or shamed—they don’t disappear.
They simply go underground.
They wait for someone—maybe for you—to come find them again.
Truth brings them back into the light.
Truth says:
“I wasn’t imagining it.”
“I wasn’t too sensitive.”
“My needs were never the problem.”
“I deserved better.”
Truth is the beginning of breathing again.
The Nervous System Doesn’t Lie
Trauma is not just a memory stored in the mind; it’s a story stored in the body.
And your body remembers:
- the tension
- the flinching
- the confusion
- the instinct to minimize yourself to keep the peace
Recovery means learning a new way of being in your own skin.
It means practicing safety, slowly— sometimes painfully slowly—until your nervous system stops bracing for impact from dangers that are no longer there.
Healing doesn’t look heroic.
It looks like one small moment of groundedness after another.A deeper breath.
A clearer no.
A softer yes.
A growing sense that God is not disappointed in your fragility, but present with you in it.
Allowing Grief to Have a Place
We love to skip grief.
We love to jump straight to “better.”
But grief is the path.
It’s the way your heart makes room for new life.
Grief says:
“I lost something real.”
“Something in me was harmed.”
“I’m allowed to mourn it.”
You cannot heal what you refuse to grieve.
And you cannot grieve what you refuse to name.
Relearning Love
Perhaps the hardest part of narcissistic abuse recovery is this:
learning that love is not supposed to feel like fear.
Love is not supposed to confuse you.
Or exhaust you.
Or demand your disappearance.
Love is the place where you become more yourself, not less.
And so recovery is not just about understanding what harmed you—
It’s about relearning what love actually is.It’s slow.
It’s patient.
It honors boundaries.
It delights in your voice returning after years of silence.
You Are Not Beyond Repair
If you’re healing from narcissistic abuse, hear this:
You are not broken in a way that cannot be restored.
You’re human in a world that often forgets how fragile humans are.
Healing is not a sprint toward a better version of you.
It’s a homecoming to the truest version of you—
the one who was there all along,
waiting to be welcomed back.
So take your time.
Tell the truth.
Breathe deeply.
Let grief do its quiet work.
Let love rewrite the story.
You are on holy ground—the ground of becoming whole again.
Seek An Individual Therapist at Yellow Chair Collective in Los Angeles or New York
If you are seeking therapy specifically tailored to your needs, consider reaching out to the therapists at Yellow Chair Collective. We understand that there may be unique contextual factors that may influence your experiences.
At our Los Angeles, CA, and New York City, NY-based therapy practice, we have many skilled, trauma-informed, and culturally sensitive therapists who can provide an empowering therapeutic experience. For your added convenience and simplicity, we offer online therapy for anyone in the state of California or New York. We know that navigating your mental health journey can be challenging, and we want to support you along the way. Follow the steps below to begin.
- Fill out the contact form to get connected with us.
- Get matched with one of our culturally sensitive therapists.
- Start the next step in your healing journey today.
Other Services at Yellow Chair Collective
There are many options for treatment using online therapy in California and New York, it just depends on what you’re needing. And while we certainly service Asian American folks, we also work with individuals from other cultures, too. So, whether you’re needing support in overcoming anxiety, burnout, trauma, or PTSD, we can help. Likewise, we serve teens and couples in need of support, too. So when you start online therapy with us, you can bring your whole self, including past struggles, cultural impacts, and more.
